Tags » ‘Life Lessons’

What It’s All About

July 4th, 2013 by

thoughtfullbb

Reposted from my other blog at CreateMotivate.com

 

Sometimes we lose sight of the big picture. Sometimes we need a slap in the head from the Universe to remind us – not of what we’re doing – but why we’re doing what we do. Our “busy-ness” comes from the what. Our fire comes from the “why”.

 

Nice Day for a Ball Game

It was a gorgeous Saturday morning in our fair city. And the championship game was on. Some of you know that, in addition to working in the education field, I have also moonlighted as a Little League baseball coach for the past four years. Four years ago, I didn’t even like baseball… but that’s another story altogether.

I coach the little guys… six and seven year-olds, fresh out of T-Ball. Our division is known as “Single A”… or, basically, the “little guys”. I’m happy with that division because, at that level, it’s not so much about winning as it is about learning basic skills and having fun. Once you get into the upper divisions,

it, sadly, becomes all about winning.

On this particular Saturday, I was watching the championship game of the AAA division (10 – 12 year-olds). It wasn’t just the league championship. It was the city championship. It was the first place team of our league (the American League) versus the first place team of our cross-town rival (the National League). One of the kids on the American League team was older brother to one of the little guys on our Single-A team, and he had helped us throughout the season with basic baseball skills, so I wanted to get out and support him in the city championship.

By the time I arrived, the game was already underway.

 

What Did You Just Call Me?

“Hey Coach!” said the man a couple of people down from me in the crowd (even after four years, I still find it a bit unnerving that grown men will call you ‘coach’ when they see you).

“Hey there…” I recognized the man’s face, but I couldn’t place it. I knew that I had met him somewhere in baseball, but couldn’t place him. I hate it when that happens.

I continued to watch the game. One of our batters came up – I recognized him. Miles. I had known him as a member of one of the opposing Single-A teams two or three years back. And, last year, I had a chance to coach him when I took on the managing duties for the league’s 9-year-old “runner up” All-Star Team (a team made up of the twelve second-best 9 year-old players). The “runner-up” (or B-Team as they were called) All Star-Team was a job that no one really wanted to take on, but I agreed to after a conversation with the league president saying that they wouldn’t get to play in any tournaments if no one agreed to coach them… and, like Obi-Wan in the original Star Wars, I was the last best hope for them to continue into the post-season.

Then it hit me… the man who had spoken to me earlier was Miles’ father. It figured that I didn’t remember him that well… the “B Team” had only spent about 3 weeks together – enough to practice and play in 2 or 3 postseason tournaments.

Between innings, Miles’ father came up to me again and provided one of those “smacks to the head” of which I spoke before.

 

A Friendly Smack In The Head From the Universe

“You know,” he started. “Miles wouldn’t be playing today if it wasn’t for you.”

“Unhh….” With conversation starters like these, I’m never sure exactly what to say.

“After last season, he was ready to quit baseball,” Miles’ dad said. “But because of your positive coaching of the All-Star Team – well, he’s back this year.”

And playing in the city championship, I thought.

At that point, it’s hard to describe what I felt. Pride. Humility. Affirmation. Significance.

And then it hit me, this is why I do what I do.

The whole point is making a difference in the lives of the children and youth that I touch.

And, honestly, I believe that making a difference is the ultimate payoff for 90% of the teachers, coaches, rec specialists… all those who work with children and youth.

But it’s so easy to forget.

Miles may not grow up to play in the major leagues (but then, again, after seeing the way he deftly handled a line drive coming at 50 mph toward his head in the bottom of the sixth, maybe he will). But that’s not the important part. Sure, no matter if his baseball career ends tomorrow or at a retirement of his jersey from the San Francisco Giants in the year2045, I’ll be proud of the small part I played in his development. The real brass tacks of the matter is that I made a difference in this kid’s life.

 

And Here’s the Real Secret of Your Universe

pushups

The killer bottom line here is that, if you work with kids, children, youth… anyone in a mentor-like capacity, you’re making that same difference with them every day you show up.

And my guess is that you don’t remember that you make that difference… at least you don’t remember more than you do.

One of the earliest thought-leaders I can remember learning from in the educational field is Betsey Haas. Her tag line is “I make the difference.”

Go write that down on an index card and put it in your pocket. Or, better yet, in your shoe. Anywhere you’ll notice it. And remember that whether you know it or not, whether you get feedback on it or not, you make the difference.

Lessons From A Mountain (and a Cool Teacher)

January 28th, 2013 by

Recently, I was browsing through the “Stop Workplace DramaSki the Diamond” blog of my wise and talented friend, Marlene Chism.  She had written a post about a recent ski trip to Breckenridge in Colorado, and the wonderful lessons she had gleaned while on (and off) the slopes.  This post is wonderful in its insight… I recommend you read the whole thing here.

But, as all good posts do, it got me to thinking.

Thinking about the one huge lesson I learned from skiing – a lesson I seem to forget and remember and forget and remember over and over again.

And, now, as I’m faced with the challenges of launching new products, and, indeed, an entirely new business, I find that I need to re-learn this lesson all over again.

What Marlene’s article brought back for me was an experience from back in my college days- I took a “recreational” skiing class at the college I was attending in Santa Fe (had to meet the PE requirement for graduation!), and I was blessed to have an instructor who, not only was an expert skier, but also an upperclassman, Resident Advisor in our dorm, and all-around cool guy that pretty much everyone looked up to.

On our final “class”… after a few weeks of puttering around on the bunny hill and some intermediate stuff… he took us to the top of the mountain for our final exam. One hill was an intermediate – he said “go that way for a ‘C’ and I’ll meet you at the bottom. For those of you who would like an “A”, follow me to a Black Diamond.”

To make a long story short, no one (at least not any of us dormitory denizens) wanted to look bad in front of Mr. Cool- and so we headed to the precipice of the Black Diamond. And it did look just that way… like a precipice.  Steep.   SCARY steep.

And I’ll never forget what happened next. He told us that, in his opinion, we had all mastered everything we needed to get down the slope. All we needed to do was push off, plan a route two or three turns (moguls) in advance, get in the flow, and, above all, don’t panic. He said that panic is what puts people in the hospital.

And I’ll be darned if I didn’t ski my first Black Diamond that day. In fact I went back up and skied it two more times before the lifts closed. I had a ball. And, yes, I fell. I almost panicked once or twice. It took me nearly 40 minutes to get down the first time. But I was in the flow… exhilarated, thrilled… in the flow. And none of us (the 10 or so of us that challenged ourselves against that mountain that day) wound up in the hospital. We all had a blast.

And I can’t help be reminded that life is like that as well. Things we’ve never done look dangerous, daunting… impossible (if you’d asked me before that day if I’d ever consider skiing a Black Diamond, I’d have said NO WAY)… you know it will be thrilling and rewarding, but too scary to attempt.

But if you trust yourself to make that initial push-off… if you plan two or three moves at a time and don’t look all the way down the mountain… if you get in the rhythm and flow of the thing… and, above all, if you DON’T PANIC – there is really nothing that your heart desires that you can’t do.

Sure, you’ll fall down a time or two, your first run may take longer than you would like… but, what the heck. It’s a small price to pay for the reward that you receive.  And the reward is doubled – or more! – if you’re in the business of transforming the lives of the students in your charge.

Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight

True words

Big Kid, Little Kid

October 17th, 2012 by

Here is a recent article I wrote for our after-school center’s newsletter about mixed-age groups:

One of the questions I am asked most frequently about the philosophy at our after-school program is centered around the fact that we allow age groups to mix freely during the day.  Kindergarteners can freely mingle with the 4th and 5th graders, and it’s not uncommon to see a 3rd grader playing with someone either 2 years his/her junior or senior.

Of course, there is a valid concern that younger children are at risk of being bullied by older children in a relationship where there is a “power imbalance”.  This is, of course, a possibility (as it is in any relationship – even into adulthood)… but it is a possibility of which our qualified and caring staff members are aware, and proactively seek to prohibit.  The emotional and social safety of all the children are major pillars of the work we do in our after-school program.

With that in mind, it’s important to look at the major benefits reaped through mixed-age play.  One of the major precepts of our center’s philosophy is that School-Age sites are, in the end, miniature societies, complete with their own unique patterns of relationships, values, and ethics.  Through our emphasis of the Character Counts! pillars of character (Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, and Citizenship), we are creating the kind of social “fabric” in our group that helps pave the way for positive, beneficial relationships between all ages.

According to a study by South Dakota State researcher Marilyn F. Rasmussen, children who are routinely a part of mixed age groups after school consistently experience “positive social interactions…such as cooperation, nurturing, inclusion, and sharing.”   Rasmussen continues to expand on the learning of cooperation:

 

            In a mixed-age group, mutually reinforcing perceptions
come together to produce cooperation. Young children
look to older children to provide leadership, helpfulness
and empathy. Older children perceive younger children as
in need of guidance and help. A collaborative spirit
replaces the competitive tendency frequently found among
same-age mates. Cooperative actions and reactions bring
out a sense of caring in older children, and they typically
accept the responsibility of being a role model.

 

In my 20+ years of working with mixed-age afterschool groups, I have found that older children identify with roles that encourage the growth of responsible behavior; that older kids receive “hands on” experience in being the nurturer, caregiver, resident expert, and “big brother/sister”.  The younger kids benefit by having accessible role models, and learn that older friends can become allies; I’ve also seen that children who develop relationships with older kids are more confident and less susceptible to bullying as they grow.

In the end, a mixed age group more closely represents what children will find outside the gates of the school – in “real life”, if you will – and having experience and comfort in negotiating such situations can build confidence, empathy, and living skills for all involved.

The Impact of Teachers

January 19th, 2012 by

One of my favorite “quirky” features of National Public Radio over the past couple of years has been a periodic short program (<5 minutes per airing) of the STORY CORPS PROJECT.

In a nutshell, StoryCorps has undertaken interviewing and recording the stories of everyday Americans to place into an archive… for the benefit and edification of the public… and future generations.

This school year, they’ve undertaken interviewing teachers and those who have a “teacher story” to tell.  This is a wonderful testament to the power of teaching and the subtle, yet profound impact that teachers have on the very fabric of American society.

If your life has been touched or your life-trajectory has been altered for the better by a teacher, I have a challenge for you- one that I have already done on my personal Facebook page:  publicly thank that teacher that has influenced your life (on FB, LinkedIn, or whatever social media outlet you prefer).  Then encourage others to do the same.

Then check out the moving interviews that have been recorded so far by StoryCorps’ National Teachers’ Initiative.

StoryCorps’ Nat’l Teachers’ Initiative  StoryCorps Teachers

Lessons From the Super Bowl

February 16th, 2009 by

Aaron Francisco probably isn’t a name you’re familiar with unless you are a devoted fan of the Arizona Cardinals, Brigham Young Cougars, or you grew up in his hometown of Lale, Hawaii.  He is a backup safety for the Arizona Cardinals and played admirable defense against a smashmouth Pittsburgh Steelers team.

On the final drive of the game, Aaron Francisco demonstrated two lessons for all of us who work with youth each day.  The scene was this: Pittsburgh had a 2nd down with 6 to go, and a little less than a minute remaining before time ran out on their Super Bowl dream.  Pittsburgh’s quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger dropped back to pass under a heavy rush and flung a quick, desperation ball to the right to soon-to-be-MVP wide receiver Santonio Holmes.  Covering Holmes was none other than our man, #47, Aaron Francisco.  It was the culmination of everything either team had worked on all year… everyone had practiced their part and this was the big show.  Francisco had the pass covered!  And, then, something momentous happened.  As the ball was on it’s way to Holmes, Francsico tripped and fell to the turf.  Holmes gathered the pass in and romped 40 yards to the doorstep of the endzone.  All because Aaron Francisco lost his footing.

Here is our first lesson from Super Bowl XLIII.  No matter how hard we practice, try, or are at the top of our game, sometimes we trip and fall down.  Sometimes we falter at a critical moment when everything is on the line.  It can happen to you, it can happen to those you work with, it can happen to your supervisor.  How we react to falling down determines 0ur true character.  How we react to someone else’s falling down is the most honest gauge of our character.  Next time you really mess up, or, better yet, next time someone you work with really screws up, remember Aaron Francisco.

Back to the Super Bowl…  Two plays later, with just over 30 seconds remaining in the game, Ben Roethlisberger took a short drop and lofted the ball, again to the right, in the corner of the end zone for Santonio Holmes.  Holmes extended his arms, miraculously kept his toes planted in the corner of the field of play and pulled Roethlisberger’s pass down into his waiting arms for the winning touchdown.  Again, guarding Holmes was none other than Aaron Francisco.  However, this time Aaron Francisco hadn’t fallen down.  In fact, he played the tightest, most perfect coverage that was possible- all to no avail.  Holmes brought the ball down and Lombardi Trophy to the Steelers.Holmes beats Aaron Francisco... again.

Here is our second Super Bowl lesson.  Sometimes, no matter how perfect we are, how on top of our game we are… well, to use the polite version of the phrase… stuff happens.  You may be the greatest teacher of all time- but, guess what?  Stuff happens.  Out-of-your-control stuff.  Unavoidable stuff.  And, again, all we are left with is how we react to what happens.  What do your reactions say about how you deal with your stuff?

When things go wrong, and they will, remember Aaron Francisco.